


Dark Thoughts

by justanoutlaw



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Captain Hook | Killian Jones Bashing, Dark Swan Arc, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e10 Broken Heart, Gen, Regret, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Tumblr Prompt, charming family - Freeform, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 19:07:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12732477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw
Summary: Emma is realizing that her actions in Camelot were a mistake. Not wanting to live with the regret, she begs her parents to end what they started.





	Dark Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This was submitted to me by loboselinaistrash on Tumblr: “I’m tired of living” with special request for it to be between Dark!Emma and Snowing. Trigger warning: Mentions of thoughts of suicide and self-harm. Also: this isn’t going to be Hook friendly.

Emma stood on her porch, staring out into the yard. Hook’s words raced through her mind.

 

_“That’s why you’ll always be an orphan.”_

She had done all she could to save his life, she had been so desperate to keep him around and for what? She had been able to manage the darkness burning in her soul, but he couldn’t. It was why she knew what she had to and took on his darkness once again. He was immediately apologetic, as if he didn’t mean it all. She knew the truth, though. He would only ever see her as the lost girl he had met in Neverland.

 

Maybe that was all she was.

 

She had sacrificed so much, lied to her parents. They were never going to forgive her. She’d be lucky if Regina ever let her see Henry again after what she did to Violet. She had nothing, she had lost everything.

 

For him.

 

It wasn’t as if she could end her life, though. She was the Dark One, cursed to be immortal. Everyone would go on without her and some day die. She would be left alone.

 

“It’s what you deserve,” she whispered to herself.

 

Walking back into the house, her breath hitched upon hearing the knock at the door. It was the same one that came every day. There her parents would stand, pounding away, begging for her to open up. She had refused to meet their eye since they returned from Camelot, how could she?

 

There was no doubt Hook had told them. They were probably coming by to cut her off. She couldn’t hear those words, her heart couldn’t take another rejection.

 

Walking into the kitchen, she took out a knife and carefully slit her wrists. She watched as the blood began to appear, but just as quickly, it went away. There was no way for her to inflict pain upon herself, she couldn’t punish herself and that was all she wanted to do.

 

Falling to the ground in a heap, she buried her head in her hands, beginning to sob. What she didn’t know, was that her tears were enough to break the barrier around the house. She needed her parents and her magic, as dark as it was, didn’t care who knew it. The door swung open and they walked inside, finding her. Slowly, Snow knelt before her, pushing a stray hair out of her face.

 

“Emma,” she whispered. “Sweetheart.”

“I…I’m tired of living.” The words came out hollow, tired. “Take the dagger, just end it all. Please.”

 

Snow’s eyes widened and she looked up at her husband, who was just at a lost of words for her as she. She pulled Emma into her arms and David knelt beside her, cradling the back of her head. Emma didn’t know how to respond to the sudden burst of affection. It had been weeks since she had felt it from them and she didn’t realize how much she craved it. Curling into her mother’s side, she tried to block out the nasty thoughts that swarmed her mind.

_It’s a trap._

_They can never understand you._

_Don’t keep your back turned, he’ll kill you._

 

  
“Shut up!” She screamed. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” She grabbed onto her head, begging for any relief from the evil man.

“Emma, no one’s saying anything,” Snow soothed.

“You don’t understand, the voices…they…they won’t go away. I just want them to stop.”

 

Snow and David didn’t know what to do, they just held Emma in their embrace, letting her scream and curse, they didn’t care how long it took. Eventually, her words tired out and she leaned against the counter, pulling away from them. For the first time since Camelot, she looked scared, like she actually needed them.

 

“Just do it,” she whispered. “Just end it all.”

David felt the tears building up in his eyes. “Emma, we can’t do that. We could never do that to you, you’re our daughter.”

“I’ve made so many mistakes…”

“And you are still our daughter.” He took her hand firmly into his own. “We are going to help you through this, we promise.”

“The first step is getting you out of here.” Snow looked around the cold, dark house that Emma had purchase. “Come on.”

“I can’t go back to the loft,” Emma said. “Neal…”

“Emma, we trust you, we believe in you. Please…just come with us.”

 

Snow stood and extended her hand. Emma stared at it for a moment before slowly accepting it and rising to her feet. David stood with her, keeping a hand on her back. Tucking the dagger into his back pocket, they headed to the car. He had no intent on using it, just keeping it from her so she couldn’t hurt herself. They would find a cure for the darkness, they would remove it from her body.

 

Until then, she needed some help. Removing the darkness wasn’t going to be the only obstacle they had to face. Emma had been through so much in her life and it was time for her to start facing the pain head on.

 

The psych ward at the hospital had made leaps and bounds since Belle was once a patient. Regina made sure that any resident who needed it would have a safe place to rehabilitate. It wasn’t as if they could go somewhere out of town, there would be no therapist that would believe their stories. There, Emma could have sessions with Archie and wait out until she was no longer a threat to herself. David and Snow could visit her daily, as could Henry (who now knew the truth). It was just temporary, then she could return to the loft.

 

In the meantime, they’d continue to search for a cure. Emma would not spend the rest of their days as the Dark One. It was no longer her burden to bear and it should never be anyone else’s. The spark in Camelot couldn’t be the only way. Emma offered to help from the hospital, but they assured her to work on herself.

 

For once, the savior would have saviors of her own.

**Author's Note:**

> I do accept prompts! Whether it be on here, Tumblr or Twitter. I have two Tumblr accounts: just-an-outlaw and justanoutlawfanfiction. My Twitter is: justanoutlawfic.


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